Why Compromise?

I realised something last night…my lust may have developed into a deeper more meaningful connection, for me and me alone.

I can’t expect Mr. Wrong to see my side of things and I don’t really want him too, but something clicked last night about the same time I heard a crack appear in my already brittle heart.

His girlfriend (who left him six months ago) has returned to try and patch things up. He has had that time, living alone and has rather enjoyed it. They were together a long time and he feels that despite his current feelings he should give it a go, plus he’s decided to test her resolve by taking her outback when, judging (my opinion) by photos and stories she’s a bit of a Princess.

Anyway…

Last week I sent him a puzzle book and a book of stamps (for postcards), and as you do when sending gag gifts, I filled in few of the answers. Words that would make him giggle and remember the silly (and erotic) times we had shared. Words like chains, paddle, glove and laughter.

Last night we were speaking on the phone about all sorts of crap (conversations have been limited and further apart since her arrival, understandably) when I asked if he’d had a chance to look at the book.

‘Ohh yeah’, he said, ‘good job she doesn’t get it’.

‘She’s seen them (the filled in words), has she? I asked.

‘Well yeah, and she’s doing some of the puzzles around them.’

This is when I heard the crack. She’s doing the puzzles, in the book I gave him as a gift.

I asked him if she’d asked and he said, ‘yes, I suppose’. I made me feel a bit better thinking, that as partners what’s yours is ours etc… but not much, because he followed it up with, ‘it’s keeping her outta my hair.’ He sounded so sad. The crack got just a little bit wider. I got out the grout and started to patch it up.

I don’t even know her and I don’t like her, she’s messing with him and due to history, he’s making compromises that he hadn’t had to for six months.

I know all relationships are about compromise, by why should it be that way. Sometimes we even change our core values to be with someone. We move house to be together, we surrender our need to have pets and we stop eating the things we enjoy. In some cases, like this one, we share things that are deeply personal to avoid conflict or even, conversation.

I know I have nothing to add to this relationship, except it seems, ways to help pass time and my support to him in any decision he makes about his future.