Nookyfest 2008

According to my Doctor I have to lay off the having of fun. I have a delightful little infection that is called Honeymoon Cystitis and it is very common amongst ladies who have never had nooky or haven’t have it in a long time. I fit into the latter category.

It’s not a sexually transmitted disease (but while I was there and had my pants round my ankles, she said she may as well test for everything that is) but a condition that is caused by simply having too much sex of the hard kind that may or may not involve elements of arse play.

This is something that had never entered my mind. I’m always careful, condoms, dental dams, gloves. You know, all the things that protect you from stray bacteria and virus, but can cause raised eyebrows if whipped out before being discussed. It never occurred to me that you could get a nasty from simply have too much sex and not peeing straight afterwards. This is the first time I’ve had anything like this, it’s kind of embarrassing

So there I am, a not inexperienced woman watching a Doctor draw a little cross section diagram of where all my ‘lady bits’* are and being told how easy it is ‘for germs to pass from the back fun area to the front fun area’*. Not that that is a problem according to the Doc, but when those germs come into contact with the ‘pee hole’* that’s when the problems start. 'Always leave the back fun 'til last.'*

‘Those little buggers love the urethra and work themselves into a frenzy until you are every time you pee.’*

It’s so simple really and a course of antibiotics ‘clear it right up and have you back in the saddle in no time, so to speak’*.


* Doctors actual words, I sh*t you not!

UPDATE 1934 11-8-08 : I was given the all clear by the doctor yesterday, no trace of UTI or anything lese that is nasty and catching.